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  “Fuck. That feels so good.”

  Complete agreement. He felt amazing.

  She shoved his underwear to the floor and ran her hands up his legs, head bobbing the entire time. His leg hair tickled over her palms, and she didn’t hesitate when she ran into the edge of his knee brace. Just skipped over it to find the expanse of his powerful thigh.

  She was lost in him. In the way he filled her mouth, the grunting sounds that floated above her. Every little bit ignited her own desire until she burned for him.

  “Rachel.” Hard. Demanding.

  Mmm, yes. That was nice too. She flicked her tongue over the little slit on top, catching the first hint of his slightly bitter seed. A tease really that had her searching for more.

  “Jesus, Rach.” Strangled. Strained. “You have to stop.”

  He pulled back, and she followed, mouth still in place, head shaking as much as it could. She wasn’t ready to stop. The firm hold on her hair eventually did halt her though. He slipped out of her reach, his dick sliding from her lips on a sucking slurp. Her scalp stung where he held her, her jaw ached and still she whimpered to have him back.

  He pitched forward, hips backed out of her reach. He tugged her head back until her chin was lifted high, shoulders hitting the edge of the bed. His deep inhalations matched hers when she glared up at him. There was so much spiraling in his eyes. Mad desire, wild hunger. Amazement even.

  She took it all in with a quick pant of breath, pride swelling. She’d done that to him.

  “I want to make you come,” she rasped around her dry throat.

  His mouth dropped open in time with the tight squeeze of his eyes. “Christ.” Raw need vibrated through his touch into her, his arm visibly shaking. The tendons on his neck bulged along with a vein that snaked down the inside of his arm.

  The entire display was of barely controlled passion. It awed and fed her. Her nipples ached and her sex clenched in anticipation.

  He opened his eyes, sucked in a breath, blinked and finally refocused on her. With almost tender care, he loosened his hold on her hair and urged her to her feet. His hands came up to cup the sides of her face, fire blazing beside the love in his eyes.

  “I want that too,” he whispered before crushing his mouth to hers.

  Goddamn, did he want that. Scott claimed her mouth, stole every breath Rachel tried to take and crushed her to him. Skin to skin, dick rammed against her stomach, hands spread across her back—he tried to consume her.

  He was on fire, nerve endings vibrating with the passion she’d set ablaze.

  So close. He’d almost—for certain to God—almost exploded down her throat. It’d been startling and mind-blowing the instant he’d realized what was about to happen. He’d barely made it out of her mouth. His tenuous grip of restraint a fingernail hold.

  It still was.

  “I want to come buried deep inside you,” he said through peppered kisses down her jaw. Her low moan sent his racing heart up another notch. “It’s been so long.” Since he’d come. “I want to be in you when I do.” Surrounded by her. Held tight until she completely drained him.

  “Yes.” Breathy agreement on his neck, near his ear.

  One step, a quick lift and she was sprawled on the bed, dazed eyes staring up at him. “Condoms?”

  A point and glance to the bedside drawer had him opening it an instant later. His hands shook and slipped when he tried to tear a packet open. Fuck. Teeth worked better.

  Her eyes never left him as he rolled it on, the heat of her stare a physical caress over him. “Scoot back,” he growled. She complied without hesitation or question. There was no way he was going do this with them both half off the bed.

  He stalked her up the mattress. Tossed the extra pillows away then sought her taste again. The light, sweet one of her mouth. He caged her beneath him, yet restrained from settling his weight on her. Not until he’d primed her. Had her begging to come.

  Because he wasn’t to going to last. He was pretty damn sure of that. His balls were drawn up tight to his body and his blood pumped rapid beats of urgency through his entire system. The knowledge alone set his head spinning. But there was still a chance he was wrong.

  She was already wet when he touched her heat. He swallowed her cry then chased it with a groan of his own. Her piercing danced beneath his finger before he sought out her core. She clamped around his fingers, a hot, pulsing suction that would be fucking incredible around his dick.

  The thought of feeling that around the sensitive skin of his erection sans condom had him almost shooting without a single touch. Damn.

  He jerked his mouth from hers, sucked in air and rapidly ran plays in his head. Anything to keep his orgasm at bay. Just a few minutes more. The irony almost yanked a harsh, bitter laugh from his chest. After two years of desperately wanting to come, he was now doing whatever he could to not.

  “Scott.”

  “I can’t wait,” he choked out around a stiff jaw.

  She wrapped her legs around his hips, jerked him down. “Neither can I.”

  Son of a... He barely caught himself on his forearms before he crushed her. But there she was, pressed beneath him. Hot skin slick against his, legs snug around his hips, reinforced by her arms across his shoulders.

  Her heated challenge stared up at him from chocolate eyes. She was a hell of a woman and all his. So his.

  He kissed her again. He couldn’t seem to stop doing that. Didn’t want to ever stop doing it. His thoughts spun crazy in his wild mind. Ones that’d morphed from hope to promise. Longing to need. Lust to love. Clarity was a marvelously frightening thing.

  Her nipples were hard pebbles against his chest, her heat bathed the head of his cock and he was desperate to sink in yet reluctant to end it. Afraid to find out he was wrong.

  In the end, she made the move for him. She lifted her hips, swiveled until the head of his cock was positioned at her opening. There was no more resisting then. No way he could not slide into her.

  His head fell back, the pleasure racing through his groin to blast outward. Holy fucking hell. The hot, wet hold had to be the best thing he’d ever experienced.

  He bottomed out, held breath gushing from him so he could suck in more air. His arms shook with the restraint it took to slowly pull out then glide back in. Every agonizing movement was a sweet torture banked to his memory.

  Sweat covered his nape, formed by his control and the heat pouring from his body. He studied her changing expression as he rocked his hips in a series of slow rolls. Open-eyed pleasure and awe changed to gasping need.

  His pace increased almost on its own. There was no stopping the building fire that pulsed from where they were joined. He’d never felt this close to anyone. Never wanted to get even closer. Impossibly closer.

  “Yes,” she whispered when he jerked hard, pelvis smacking into her. Her subsequent moan when he repeated the motion drove him over the brink of contained sanity.

  He arched his back, face buried in the junction of her neck, and thrust harder. Powered forward in a blind attempt to lose himself in her.

  With her.

  She was heaven and everything he wanted to hold on to.

  Blindly, he reached back to hook one of her knees on his elbow in a frenzied attempt to go deeper. He spread his legs wider for more traction, straining his inner thighs with a rich burn on each plunge into her. His knee was forgotten, pain overridden by pure pleasure.

  Yes. That was it.

  Her mingled cries and moans danced in his ear as his orgasm raced up his spine then crashed back down to explode out of him.

  “Yes!” His cry roared from him. Shattered him then came again as he slammed home. “Fuck. Come with me, Rach,” he managed to grit out before his muscles contracted, spasmed.

  Sweet ecstasy swept through him in a blinding flash. White light blasted behind his clenched eyes and he clung to Rachel, one hand digging beneath her back to stay grounded while he flew.

  Vaguely he was aware of her hig
h cry, of her muscles pulsing around him, of the digging bite of her nails on his nape and shoulder. He shuddered, gasped for air, another small release trembling through him.

  Everything sagged after that, his mind going offline. Reflexes alone kept him from collapsing onto Rachel. His head rested beside hers, breath gusting into the pillow. Her chest rose and fell in a rapid pace with his, and the heavy scent of sweat and sex blanketed the room.

  Many deep breaths later, some of his awareness started to come back. With a distant fogginess, he lowered his arm to let her leg slide to the bed. Dazed and stunned, the importance of what had just happened crashed into his draining adrenaline and the languid flood of endorphins to shatter him a second time.

  He’d come.

  Spectacularly, amazingly, stunningly so.

  Emotion rushed up his chest to burn his throat and prick at his eyes. Shit. Shit. He sniffed, dug his other arm beneath her and tried to keep it together.

  It didn’t matter how tightly he squeezed his eyes though, a drop of water managed to leak out to roll down the bridge of his nose. Damn it. He sucked in a breath, sniffed again and willed them back.

  He didn’t fucking cry. Not when his knee had been busted or a puck had sliced his brow or his fiancée had dumped him at the altar.

  “Hey.” She nudged him, tried to ease him back, but he stayed put. “Are you okay?” Concern claimed her voice and broke across his trembling will.

  Fuck. He shoved away, ducking his head under the pretense of holding onto the condom as he slipped out of her. The limp state of his dick and drooping, filled condom yanked a dry bark of laughter from his chest.

  “Yeah,” he croaked. “I’m great.”

  He flipped to sit on the side of the bed, glanced around for something to clean up with. The thought of making his usual escape to the bathroom tugged another jagged laugh up his raw throat. He dropped his head into his hand, rubbed his face then pressed his fingers into his eyes as he scrambled for control.

  The first touch of her hand on his back was a searing balm and condemnation at once. He tensed, ready to bolt. Then her arms were wrapping around his chest, legs snaking over his lap to hook at her ankles. He sucked in a breath, straightening.

  Her kiss hit the top of his spine. Dry but pressing. A gentle shot of acceptance that resonated with love.

  Fucking...

  His head fell back, tears sliding down the sides of his face unchecked. What was wrong with him? His breath hitched when he sucked in a gulp of air, catching on the lump that blocked his throat and the turmoil layered in his chest.

  He wrapped his arms over hers and held on. It was all he could do. All he’d been doing for months.

  But now, finally, he had someone hanging on with him.

  Chapter Twenty

  Rachel inched closer until every bit of her front was plastered to Scott’s back. Her breasts were crushed below his shoulder blades and her pubic curls brushed his tailbone. She turned her head to lay her cheek on his back, holding him as snug as she dared.

  His arms came up to wrap around hers right before his chest jittered beneath her arms, the vibrations bouncing her cheek. She only held on tighter. What was wrong?

  They’d just shared some of the most intimate sex of her life, and for the first time, he hadn’t rushed from the room to clean up. But this—this was a hurting man.

  She blinked back the sting that burned her eyes and took a calming breath that worked to slow her racing thoughts, if not her heart. She’d promised him not to push or hound, so all she could do was soothe. Be here like she’d always been.

  His sniff cut through the air and was quickly buried beneath the rough rumble of his throat. “Christ,” he mumbled. “I didn’t... I didn’t mean to...”

  She brought one hand back to rub over his back and shoulder. “It’s okay. Really.”

  He shook his head before it dropped forward with a harsh grunt. She sensed him rubbing his eyes and pressed another kiss to that knot at the base of his neck. Was this when she nudged though?

  Another sniff from him had her edging away to stretch for the box of tissues on her nightstand. The soft glow of the lamp reflected the wetness on his cheek and confirmed what she’d thought. He was crying.

  And that just about tore her heart from her chest.

  “Here,” she said, holding the box out to him.

  He glanced at it and puffed out a derisive laugh. “Thanks.”

  She went back to her spot behind him and let him collect himself without her scrutiny. The male ego could be a fragile thing, and she knew enough not to stomp all over it. The big alpha men in her family would rather die than show a weakness like this in front of anyone.

  And here was Scott, baring all his weaknesses to her. It actually raised her respect for him even higher. He was tackling his issues instead of burying them, and that was so incredibly strong of him.

  “You must think I’m pathetic,” he said, voice cracking.

  “Never.” Her insistence was quick and forceful. “Exactly the opposite, actually.”

  His head was shaking again when he eased from her hold to stand. He took a few moments to clean up from their previous activity then tossed the wad of tissues in the basket by the door.

  Her breath caught when he turned back instead of heading for the bathroom. His eyes were slightly red-rimmed but not bad. She only noticed because she was looking for it. The sight of his toned body still stunned her a bit. He didn’t have a chiseled six-pack, but the cut of his obliques down to his groin was sculpted sexiness. And then there were his thighs. They were thick and laced with muscle that had just driven her to a gasping, whimpering orgasm.

  The black brace stood out on his otherwise naked body, reminding her of his injury. She didn’t think he’d hurt it during sex. His anguish hadn’t been that kind of pain.

  She quickly scooted back and shoved the blankets down. “Can you get the lights?” She pointed to the switch by the wall, and he turned back to take care of it. Darkness plunged over them, the streetlight casting enough glow around her blinds to guide his way back to the bed.

  She didn’t hesitate to curl into his side once he settled under the blankets. It’d become her habit to sleep on his good side, away from his hurt knee, and she cuddled into the spot she’d missed more than she should’ve these past weeks.

  The consistent beat of his heart beneath her ear was reaffirming. Just like the warmth of his skin wherever they touched, which was almost everywhere down her front. Her fingers played with the bits of hair on his chest, the flicking softness a comforting familiarity.

  “Sorry about that,” he said just when she was certain he wasn’t going to say anything about his little breakdown.

  She tossed around how to play it and settled on light. “It’s okay.” She ran a nail over his nipple, smiling at his flinch and hissed intake of air. “Maybe I should be flattered that sex with me brought you to tears. Or wait.” She pushed up, eyes wide when she met his. “Were those in horror? Because I really didn’t think it sucked—at all.”

  He stared at her, head swiveling in a slow cadence before his chuckle bubbled out. “Oh my God.” He tugged her down to press a kiss to her head. “What am I going to do with you?”

  “Keep me,” she said before she thought about it. She squeezed her eyes closed the second it was out. Her deepest wish wasn’t supposed to tumble out like that.

  “Definitely,” he answered, ruffling her hair with the single word.

  She relaxed back into him, the sudden flash of regret filtering away. “Do you want to talk about it?” she ventured.

  His arms tightened around her, chest rising with his deep inhalation. “No.” Her disappointment matched the decline of his chest as he blew the air back out. “But I probably should.”

  “It’s up to you. I’m here if you do.” Would he? Talking about feelings was a topic most men avoid like the plague. Especially emotional ones witnessed by others.

  The silence stretched and her eyes
grew heavy, lulled by the long day and the comfort of him beside her before he spoke again. “That was my first orgasm in two years.” Her eyes sprang open at his shallow admission. What? “The quantity and combination of pills I was taking had a side effect of inhibiting my ability to come.”

  To come. Wait. Her brain snapped online, and understanding soon followed. Her pulse picked up, all traces of drowsiness vanished. He’d gone still beneath her. Even his breaths had dropped off to shallow intakes.

  “But...” What did she say? She wet her lips and slowly shifted around to see him again. Shadows hid most of his expression, which at first frustrated her until she realized hers would be hidden as well. “You...” A swath of betrayal churned in a twisted path from her stomach to her throat. Was it right to feel that way?

  “Faked it,” he supplied. His flat tone didn’t ease any of her confusion. “Sorry.” An edge of honest pain in that single-word apology helped to moderate some of her hurt. “I was too embarrassed to let you know.” He rubbed his eyes, fingers digging into the bridge of his nose before he lowered his hand. “It was easier to pretend, and a condom made it possible.”

  She never once doubted him during any of their sexual encounters. Not once. His performance had been outstanding. “Did you enjoy any of it then?” The urge to scoot away was growing stronger the longer she thought about it. “Were you laughing at me the whole time?”

  “What?” His head snapped up, a stunned scowl tugging his brows low. “God, no! You were—are—amazing. I didn’t want to disappoint you. Christ.” He dropped back against the pillow to stare at the ceiling. “I’m a thirty-four-year-old male who could keep it up for hours but couldn’t finish it off. What kind of fucked up is that? I was too busy worrying about you laughing at me to even think of laughing at you.” He bit his lip, turned his head to suck in a breath. “It wasn’t some damn game I was playing on you.”

  He rolled away, legs already off the bed, before she lunged for him, grabbing his arm. “Don’t,” she bit out. “You don’t get to run in the middle of a conversation.” She’d grown up watching her father do that, leaving her mother to wade through the remnants by herself. There was no way that was happening to her. “Nothing is ever solved by running.”