Bonds of Trust Page 12

  “Jake,” she panted, her warm breath caressing his ear. “I need you.”

  He let go of her shoulder and reclaimed her mouth, if only to stop himself from agreeing with her. He needed her.

  Blindly, he tore open the condom packet he’d snagged from his pocket. He started to roll it on, but she pulled back to push away his hands and slowly rolled the rubber over his cock herself. Even that basic safety precaution became erotic under her exploring hands.

  He groaned, his body an inferno that was unbearably close to igniting. He moved his hand between her legs, seeking her core. She was wet, hot and ready for him. He circled her clit and she pushed into his touch with a moan. He let his fingers entered her, hard strokes of preparation she didn’t need.

  “Please, Jake. I’m going to come.”

  “No, Cali.” He knocked her hand from his cock and positioned himself at her entrance. “Not ’til I say.” The words tore from his throat as he struggled to hold himself back. He fisted her hair and forced her to look at him. Her eyelids hung heavy over eyes that had turned a deep emerald green. Her lips were parted and her chest lifted with each breath. So fucking beautiful.

  “You’re mine.” He held her gaze, forcing her to understand. “When you’re here, you’re mine.” Her eyes drifted closed, but a hard tug on her hair had them open once again. “Tell me you understand.”

  She wiggled her hips, seeking what he withheld from her, her wetness coating his hand as he held his cock firm.

  “Please, Jake,” she begged.

  He bit his tongue in an effort to stay in control. “No, Cali. Not until you agree.”

  “To what?” Her words stroked across his cheek in complete innocence.

  “If we finish this, you’re my sub.”

  She stilled.

  “You will obey only me. No other Dom will touch you without my permission.”

  Uncertainty flashed in her eyes and he felt her retreating.

  Fuck, no.

  “Trust me.” He rubbed the tip of his cock along the hot opening of her pussy. She gasped and tipped her head until her forehead pressed against his. Her breath brushed his face in quick, deep gusts. He knew he was pushing her, but he couldn’t let her go.

  “Trust me,” he whispered against her lips. “You belong to me.” He tensed, waiting for her answer. Never had one word been so important in his life.

  But then, he had never wanted anyone as badly as he wanted her.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Yes.”

  The simple word slipped from her lips almost without her permission. She whimpered as the logical side of her battled against her need to comply. To give him everything he wanted.

  “Look at me and say it again.” Jake pulled on her hair, forcing her head back until she could look in his eyes once again. “Tell me now.”

  His gaze drilled her, the gray depths darkened to a burnt ash and flashing just as hot. Moisture beaded his forehead, creases marring the smooth span, denoting his tension as he waited for her. He was everything she should run from.

  He was everything she craved.

  It was just sex, right? This was just about sex. He’d said ‘here.’ As in, the club. She could agree to that. There was no harm in that, right? No one would ever find out.

  “Yes, Jake,” she finally said. “I’m your sub.”

  He released a long, guttural groan and shoved into her in one hard plunge. She bowed her back, his thick, rigid cock filling her. She clenched around the intrusion, even as he started to move. He gripped her hips and pushed into her in strong, demanding pumps.

  She rode him, clutching his flexing shoulders until her nails bit into the muscles. She stretched her toes, finding leverage from the floor to make each stroke longer, deeper. The sound of skin slapping was at once obscene and intimate and blended with the non-verbal noises they were both making. He pulled her closer, forcing her nipples to rub against his chest. The tender tips screamed in shock with each brush against his shirt, the sharp pricks of pain bringing her to the edge. Sweat streaked down the side of her face, their movements becoming disjointed and frantic in their race to the end.

  “Please, Jake,” she remembered to ask. “I need to come.”

  He made a rough, harsh sound that was close to a possessive growl. He thrust again, harder and deeper as he ground his hips into her. He grabbed her hair and watched her. “Come for me, Cali.”

  The sheer intensity of the moment exploded within her. She cried out, completely gone as the storm crashed around them. He made one last, deep drive that lifted her feet from the ground. Then his arms were around her, his mouth at her neck, and she was lost to everything but the pleasure consuming her.

  She came back to her senses in a series of short realizations—she was exhausted, she needed a shower, she was wrapped in Jake’s arms. His breath was warm against her neck and he smelled of man and sex. But most prominently, she felt protected and cherished.

  Her eyes flew open at that thought. The truth of it shocked her. She had never expected that to be one of the emotions that would come with entering a BDSM club. If anything, she had expected the opposite.

  Both times now, she’d felt more cherished and cared for than she had in many years. She blinked rapidly, refusing to give in to the damn tears again. One big cry a night was more than enough.

  His fingers combed through her hair and she shivered. Goose bumps formed up her arms and back, despite the inferno of heat simmering inside her.

  “Cold?” Jake’s voice vibrated against her ear as it tumbled through his chest.

  “Not really,” she answered. She let her hand run up his chest to rub across the hard plain of his pecs.

  He cursed, a low, sharp bite she probably wasn’t supposed to hear.

  “What?” She tensed and tried to push back to see his face.

  He tightened his arms and held her firmly against him. “No bed,” he said with a half chuckle.

  She relaxed and resumed her exploration of his chest, the relief rushing through her. That was all. For a second she’d feared he’d changed his mind. Or had regrets. Did she?

  “Do you have other subs?” she asked, the question shocking her even as she spoke.

  His muscles constricted under her fingers, his hands stilling on her back. Nerves once again claimed her as she realized how important his answer was to her. Maybe she didn’t have a right to ask the question. She didn’t know the protocol, but she knew she didn’t want to share.

  “No,” he finally said. “You are my only sub.” But the connection that had felt so tight and intimate moments ago was suddenly gone.

  She sat up, peering into his eyes. “What am I missing?”

  He stared at her, his lips thinning in contemplation. He palmed the back of her neck in a move that smacked of possessiveness. One she should reject but found she couldn’t. “I’ll notify my clients that our contracts are terminated.”

  She pushed back the sense that there was something important she was missing, but she couldn’t place what it was.

  He pulled her closer until his lips were just a breath away. “This is an exclusive arrangement.”

  A flush of pure excitement warmed her at the finality in his voice. He belonged to her too. She swallowed, the heat of his lips so temptingly close to hers. “Okay.”

  His kiss was full of promise and commitment. For her it was acceptance. The sealer on a deal made in the height of passion, but it felt completely right. It was a deal she never would have made at any other time. She knew that to the depths of her repressed soul.

  It was the other her who had agreed to his demands. The other her who was aggressively kicking back all of the nagging doubts and recriminations the real her was shoving forward.

  He drew back, disengaged himself and lifted her off his lap. The floor was cold beneath her feet, a fact she hadn’t noticed before. She wrapped her arms around herself and watched as he grabbed some tissues and used them to remove the condom and clean up.


  She chuckled. “More than one reason for the tissues, then?”

  He caught her eye and grinned. “Never know when you’ll need them.”

  “Kind of like the condom?”

  “Hell, the condom is standard dress code.” He stood and pulled up his pants in one motion. He glanced at her, intent and serious as he finished dressing. “You should know that. Safety is mandatory here.”

  She studied the floor, embarrassed at her misstep. “Of course it is. I never thought otherwise.”

  He lifted her chin, forcing her look at him. “I’d like you to come with me.”

  “I thought I already did.” She couldn’t resist the comeback, but the smirk left her face when she saw that he wasn’t laughing with her. Everything, from his eyes to his voice to his stance, spoke of how serious the statement was to him.

  Was this her first test? More importantly, did she trust him enough to follow without question? She’d trusted him with her body, but this was something very different and felt much more significant.

  Could she do it? Could she not?

  Chapter Fifteen

  Cali took a deep breath and dove in. “Okay.”

  Something flashed in his eyes, a quick insight into him before he blinked and it was gone. What was it? She wanted more than anything to see it again. To know what it was.

  He let her go and crossed to the bathroom. He returned with a black silk robe and held it out to her. It finally dawned on her that she was still naked. Her nudity hadn’t even crossed her mind. That’s how comfortable she’d become with Jake. Already.

  It seemed so fast. But felt so right.

  Too right.

  She turned and slipped into the offered garment. He reached around and tied the sash for her, his strong hands brushing and caressing her abdomen. He engulfed her with his strength, his arms surrounding her and pulling her within his protection. The feeling soaked into her and warmed her in a completely different way than the sex had.

  He kissed her neck then took her hand and led her to the exit. He stopped to pick up her discarded clothing before he opened the door and reclaimed her hand.

  She paused and took one more breath before allowing him to lead her from the room. Her heart raced as she followed him down the hallway, away from the stairway that led to the second floor.

  It was on the tip of her tongue to ask where they were going, but she bit back the question. Trust. If she trusted him to tie her down and spank her naked ass, then she could trust him to keep her safe. Easier said than done, but she kept her mouth shut and silenced her doubt.

  A part of her acknowledged she was placing too much faith too soon in someone and something she’d only just begun to know. But she’d waited forty-four years to feel this...free. To stop worrying and simply trust that someone else would take care of the details.

  It was somewhat counterintuitive that in giving up control, instead of feeling enslaved she’d finally found freedom.

  She didn’t want to be anal and repressed any longer. Maybe she’d get burned, but at least she could say she jumped. She tried.

  She dove in headfirst for once and felt more alive than she had in years.

  She smiled at the warmth and contentment that settled in her gut and soothed through her. She would revel in that feeling for now.

  * * *

  What in the hell am I doing? Jake’s mind hammered with reiterating words of judgment. He was asking for trouble. No, make that begging to be dropped-kicked and nailed in the nuts for this.

  It made no logical sense. But here he was, unlocking the door and leading Cali into his loft.

  His private space. A place that had never been graced by a sub.

  Fuck.

  But he didn’t want her to leave. Not yet. Not when she could still run. And although the room downstairs had been perfect for the Scene, it didn’t have a bed.

  And a bed was where he wanted her.

  “Is this your place?”

  An innocent question. She was good at those. “Yes.”

  Her steps faltered, her eyes going wide. “Oh.”

  At least she seemed to get the importance. Done dwelling on his actions, Jake led her through the open space of the living area to his bedroom. He set her clothes on his dresser and moved to the master bath. He took a towel out of the cabinet and turned to her. “Take a shower. I’ll be here when you get out.”

  She seemed a little startled, the whole deer-in-the-headlights thing. He tried to remember that this was one gigantic new step for her.

  He cupped her face and lowered his voice. “You’ll feel better after a hot shower. Your muscles will be sore tomorrow and the heat will help.” He gave her a light kiss. “Now, go. I’ll be here.”

  A smile curved over her lips before she twisted away and did as he said.

  “Put the robe back on when you’re done,” he told her.

  She gave him one last look filled with questions as he left and she shut the door.

  He released a quick breath, ran his fingers through his hair then scrambled to get his things done before Cali got out of the shower. Hopefully she’d take a long one.

  After a quick shower and change in the guest bath, Jake grabbed his phone and sent a text to Seth. It wasn’t often that Jake wasn’t on the club grounds when it was open.

  Sometimes it felt like it was the only place he’d been for the last five years.

  The air in the loft was cool against his bare chest as he got out some snacks and made a tray of crackers, cheeses and fruit. He paused and surveyed the spread. Damn, when did he get so fucking domestic? That stirring in his chest pushed hard and he had to shove it back.

  His phone beeped and he wiped his hands on his cotton lounge pants before checking the text message.

  Seth: WTF? You sick?

  Jake: No. Busy.

  Seth: With what?

  Jake: Not ur biz.

  There was a pause before Seth’s final text: FU. Deets in morning.

  Great. Jake sighed, put down the phone and turned to the fridge.

  “Is everything okay?”

  Cali’s soft-spoken question had him jerking back from the fridge. She stood in the doorway from his bedroom, her hair wet and curling around her freshly scrubbed face. He was pleased to see she’d followed his order and put the robe back on. The black silk clung to her damp skin in a way that made his imagination run wild.

  He walked to her. “Everything’s fine. How about you? Still okay?” He studied her face, searching for clues.

  She nodded, but her lip disappeared between her teeth. He dipped and kissed her, tugging that lip into his mouth before he let her go. She gave him a tentative smile that spoke of the fine line she was balancing on.

  He noticed the mark on her shoulder just visible under the edge of the robe. He pushed the material aside and rubbed his finger over the deep purple bruise already blooming. “It looks good on you,” he said, the claiming mark sparking the pride and ownership within him.

  She jerked her head to see what he was talking about, but it was too close to her neck for her to see.

  He gave her cheek a light caress then went back to kitchen, giving her the space he sensed she needed. Plus, it was important for her to come to him. He glanced back at her. “What would you like to drink? I’ve got wine, water, soda, iced tea.”

  She took a step toward the kitchen, swiveling her head to take in the room. The loft was the traditional open floor plan, containing high ceilings and exposed beams. The kitchen was in the far corner, decked out with high-grade appliances and marble countertops that still appeared as new as the day they were installed. Her face remained blank and he had to push back the question of what she thought of his place. Since when did he care?

  “Do you have Coke?” Her soft question seemed loud against the emptiness.

  “Got it.” He grabbed two cans from the half-empty fridge and a couple of glasses from the cupboard. When he turned around, she was standing on the other side of the island, smiling. “
What?”

  She shrugged. “You surprise me.”

  He dropped some ice in the glasses, the clink of the cubes echoing around them, and popped open the cans. “Is that all? I take it you’re someone who doesn’t like surprises.”

  “No,” she said, taking the glass he offered to stare intently at the hissing, disintegrating foam. “I’m just usually prepared enough to avoid surprises.”

  “Hence, the extensive internet research before coming to the club.” Jake watched her as he took a drink of his soda.

  She shifted on her feet before grabbing and nibbling on a cracker. “There’s nothing wrong with being prepared.” The defensiveness in her voice told him she’d battled this topic before.

  “I agree. In fact, I’d have been disappointed if you’d come to a BDSM club knowing nothing about what you were walking into.”

  The rigidity left her shoulders and she relaxed against the counter. He could physically see the relief wash through her as the tension left her body to let the exhaustion show through. The night was catching up with her.

  Jake grabbed the tray and his drink. “Come with me.”

  As he led her to his bedroom, the pad of her bare feet against the wood floors was his only indication that she followed him. He didn’t turn around to check; it was assumed she would be right behind him. And it pleased him to know she was.

  He set the food tray on the bed and his glass on the bedside table before clicking on the small lamp, the light casting a dim glow through the room. Taking Cali’s glass, he set it next to his then arranged the pillows and sat on the bed. She accepted his extended hand and the mattress dipped as she kneeled next to him. He settled them both until she was positioned between his bent legs, her back resting on him as he leaned against the headboard.

  Her skin was soft and smooth under his palms as he caressed her arms before gently tipping her head back until it rested on his chest. The wet tips of her hair brushed his skin, leaving a trail of moisture behind. He let his hands roam over her body, light touches meant to soothe and comfort.

  She felt so good in his arms, next to him. The urge to keep her there, safe within his protection, roared up to nearly choke him with its sudden ferocity.